if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My vagina is officially offended.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
