All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
