one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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