Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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