it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
