the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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