he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
