You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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