who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
