I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
