Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
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