We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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