he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
