first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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