I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
