Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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