i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
