yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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