and you said cock pushups were impossible
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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