What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
