3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
