I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
