You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
