Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
