I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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