Say something about gay babies.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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