i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My life is pants optional.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
