we have officially lost it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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