She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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