he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm just crazy horny about you
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
