Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
