Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
