then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
