It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
