Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
