dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
