Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
