I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
well you can't waste a boner
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
