I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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