Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
