One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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