i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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