i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
