Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
