i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
