my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
