Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
