so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
