Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
