Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
