Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
